'Old Dogs'

'Old Dogs' (PG) *

Writers: David Diamond and David Weissman
Director: Walt Becker
Starring: Robin Williams, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Bernie Mac, Rita Wilson, Lori Laughlin

What a career low point for Robin Williams and John Travolta in "Old Dogs"! They look horrible, are made to do unfunny things and have never been so dull and toothless. I did not laugh one time during this movie. I cringed a lot and I felt trapped in hell but I didn't laugh. Actually no one laughed at the screening I was seeing though there were two others in there. Boy I hope this piece of crap bombs! I apologize to "A Couples Retreat" and "The Proposal". I didn't like those but I could sit through them and not feel like upchucking. If you have seen the trailer then you have seen all the funny parts or so called funny parts (I didn't laugh at the trailer once either). If you find Rita Wilson playing a hand model and Robin Williams slamming the car trunk door on her hands funny then you might be a redneck. If you find Travolta taking the wrong pills and his face contorting and winding up looking like the Joker then you might be a redneck. If you find a man in a gorilla suit obviously looking fake maul little Seth Green then you might... forget it. I think I have made my point. Don't mean to spoil things for you but I am trying to save two hours of your life. Too bad we couldn't have dinner with Travolta and Williams in real life cause that now would be funny. The best thing I can say about this movie is that Lori Laughlin and Kelly Preston look really good!

This movie is full of embarrassment humor at the expense of the weak characters and it is never funny. You can call me overly critical and a party pooper but this movie I swear really sucks and I am the one who liked "Paul Blart Mall Cop"! Williams and Travolta could pick any movie they want to star in but they picked this and I think they are sellouts for doing it. The fact that the movie turns sappy at the end is really bad and reminds me of a bad "Full House" episode. What is sad is that with the family troubles of Travolta and the death of Bernie mac I felt depressed and the terrible comedy didn't help. In fact poor Bernie Mac's last role is in one of the strangest and jaw droppingly horrible scenes in any movie ever. All I can explain is Mac plays a clown who wires up Travolta in an electric suit connected to Williams. Williams tries to charm his new found daughter with a tea party as Travolta helps Williams dance with her. It is so out of place and weird I thought I was back in William's other turkey "Toys". "Old Dogs" is a terrible time at the movies and there has to be a better comedy this Christmas then this turkey.