'STAND UP GUYS'

'STAND UP GUYS' (R) (1 1/2 STARS)

Written by Noah Haidle
Directed by Fisher Stevens
Actors: Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, Alan Arkin, Lucy Punch, Mark Margolis, Addison Timlin, Vanessa Ferlito, Craig Sheffer.

There is something really wrong in Hollywood when you give two of our finest actors a messy, badly written movie. A movie that has lame viagra jokes, an embarrassing bordello scene and a final shot that made me roll my eyes before I felt like puking. I always know an Al Pacino movie is terrible when he looks like he is acting and that means he is falling into his over acting trap. Christopher Walken is incredibly cool to listen to when he is given some great lines, even bad ones. But the writing here is amateurish with so many cliches it reminded me of about 50 other better movies just like this one. There are many moments throughout the movie where nothing happens. Save for some scenes where we can just hear Pacino and Walken talk together that got me into the movie, this is a chore to sit through.

"Stand Up Guys", directed by actor Fisher Stevens like he is directing a remake of his 80's cult comedy "Short Circuit", does not have a firm grasp on his movie or his actors. Pacino plays Val who was just released from prison and picked up by his best friend Doc played by Walken. They want to relive some old glory days and want to have a fun night on the town. Doc wants to show his buddy one last great time because in the morning he will have to put a hit out on his friend for a past shooting and death. The friends spring out another crime buddy, Hirsch played by Alan Arkin. Hirsch has to breathe through an oxygen mask and then when they all steal a car he appears to be breathing fine. I will give you a $100 if you can't guess what will happen to Hirsch later on in the movie.

The friends visit a whorehouse and eat dinner together where Val eats everything on the menu after he finds out he will be killed soon by his friend. They also help a woman in distress played by the beautiful and sexy Vanessa Ferlito (Q Tarantino's "Death Proof"). Not much else happens except for some bad dialogue, scenes that halt the movie to a grind and a lot of stuff you will figure out a few steps ahead of the movie. This story has been done before multiple times and way better. The movie looks glossy and reminds me of other better Pacino, Walken movies. Then the movie ends with a final shootout which boldly rips off the already dumb ending of the over rated "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid". Then comes the final shot that will either make your stomach churn or make you laugh out loud unintentionally.