'This Means War'

'This Means War' (PG-13) (2 STARS)

Writers: Timothy Dowling and Simon Kinberg
Director: McG
Actors: Reese Witherspoon, Tom Hardy, Chris Pine, Til Schweiger, Angela Bassett, Chelsea Handler

I wasn't surprised that "This Means War" would be lackluster and finally forgettable with the state of romantic comedies these days. Though it is not the disaster that most of the critics say it is. Sometimes you just need The Regular Moviegoer to tell you why the movie is weak but not bad. This movie had me going with it in the first half hour mostly because Reese Witherspoon and Tom Hardy are so charming and very good here. Then the plot really kicks in and we get a "Three's Company" retread. Sometimes you have to go with the flow because it is a fantasy about spies and the woman they love. Though some of the things that happen in this movie are so unbelievable but then Chelsea Handler comes in and saves it with comic relief, she is funny here.

"This Means War" starts with a fast chase and shootout as two buddy spies FDR and Tuck go after a German baddie. Now at no point do we feel a threat from the bad guy here because this is fluff. The movie really wants to sell us the romance and the actors try and they are good but you can only do so much. Reese Witherspoon plays Lauren the woman of both spies' affection. First she nabs Tuck from a dating site, meets him and then in a "yeah right" moment she meet cutes FDR in a video store right after. Both spies will date her as she tries to pick which one she really wants to be with. Both spies will use surveillance equipment individually to spy on her with the other. Again I understand this is a fantasy but I felt a little creepy when the camera captures one of them having sex with Lauren. So you use taxpayers money to ilegally spy on a unsuspecting woman and then spy on her in very private moments, okay.

Why am i trying to be logical with a movie like this? Well I had a lot of time to think about stuff because everything in this movie you can see in the trailer. There are no surprises and if you think really hard you can guess which man she will pick at the end of the movie and I guessed right. There is also Lauren's friend who gives funhy advice and she is played by Chelsea Handler who has a great future in movies as the wisecracking buddy. The movie has both spies try to sabatoge each other's time with Lauren, Lauren will try to make her choice, the bad guy shows up and the movie ends with a chase and it is over.

This movie is very light, over before you know it and has really sloppy and overdone action scenes but it is not a bad movie like the critics are saying. The director McG directed the bad "Charlie's Angels" reboot (the sequel was much better and he didn't direct it) and he is a journeyman director. He does what is needed and the movie looks glossy and it is forgettable but also watchable. Reese Witherspoon can turn a lump of coal into gold and she is beautiful, charming and without her the movie would sink. Though I think this movie is a waste of her time and you could have cast someone like a second rate actress in her role. It is a role that she can do in her sleep and she should save herself for better parts.

I also liked Tom Hardy who is charming and attractive here and shows star potential. He has a flair for comedy and when you compare it to his blistering performances in "Bronson" and "Warrior" and what he will do as Bane in "The Dark Knight Rises" he will be able to do anything on screen. I also laughed a lot at Chelsea Handler who gives a rough performance but she is very funny. Chris Pine is okay here but not as good as Hardy and Witherspoon and I hate his character. "This Means War" is not a bad time at the movies but it is nothing to get excited for and rush out to. If you love Witherspoon you can wait till it gets on cable.

P.S. For a better movie than this with the same ideal check out Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". That is not the best movie but if you see it next to "This Means War" you will see why War is inferior.