'Transformers: Dark of the Moon'

'Transformers: Dark of the Moon  (PG-13)  (1 1/2 stars)

Writer: Ehren Kruger
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington Whiteley, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, John Malkovich,
Kevin Dunn, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey, Julie Whad good actionhite

I like the original "Transformers" movie and was shocked to find that I liked it. It is the only Michael Bay movie I like because it wasn't self indulgent and Bay actually directed a good action movie with a good sense of humor. I am not surprised that he has taken a pretty decent first movie and made two terrible sequels to it because he is Michael Bay after all. Bay thinks he has a science fiction epic here with a whopping 2 1/2 hour running time and an hour long battle at the end that made me want to run out of the theatre. This is a soulless exercise that is hard to follow and hard to care about.

"Transformers: Dark of the Moon" starts off actually pretty promising linking the first moon landing with the Transformers characters. That lasts ten minutes and then after that it is all downhill. The plot is basically just a battle of the Autobots vs. the Decepticons and Shia LaBeouf stuck in the middle of it. I forget Shia LaBeouf's character's name in the movie because there is no character development and they are all annoying. Also I can't really explain anymore plot because I checked out of this movie after a half hour. The movie ends on a huge battle and the destruction of the city of Chicago that gave me a huge headache.

I actually was impressed with how Bay captures the beauty of our city and without that quality this would be maybe the worst movie I ever saw. The problem was I loved looking at our great city but the battle is mind numbing and I couldn't follow any action. Bay is a terrible action director and he over stuffs his movie with too many explosions and hard to follow action scenes. The actors all shout, I couldn't care about anyone and I couldn't tell any of the damn robots apart from each other. The first movie was better because we got to know LaBeouf's character and the movie introduced us to each robot and gave them a sense of humor. Here the movie has not one ounce of humor save for the idiot parent characters. This is not a fun movie, it is depressing and too loud and dumb.

Michael Bay started this whole terrible trend in action movies and fantasies that I have repeated over and over again lately with my blog reviews in the last few years. I am sick and tired of these filmmakers throwing crap at the screen and action that has no rythym, clarity or thrills. Michael Bay thinks he is making an action epic here but his self indulgence kills this movie. Bay and others lately are coming off like they think movie goers are dumb so they can throw any crap they want at us and we will think we are being entertained. They think if we are not bombarded with wall to wall action we will lose interest.  Movies like "Super 8" are the antidote to this, they make us care for the characters, set up suspense and action that we can follow. I try to make my blog speak for movie goers that just want to be entertained and are not too critical but I challenge any regular movie goer to find this appealing or entertaining.

At least the love interest in this movie is better and Rosie Huntington Whiteley is more beautiful than Megan Fox and she can actually act. John Turturro, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand all show up for comic relief but they all shout and come off the worst I have seen each one look in their career.
I only like the first ten minutes of this movie and seeing Chicago blow up on a huge screen but "The Dark Knight" is miles ahead of it in using Chicago as a location. There is not one entertaining frame of film in the whole mind numbing 2 1/2 hours. This is one of the worst action movies I have ever seen and it is one of the most boring and depressing times I have ever had at a movie.

On my negative reviews I would now like to add a new feature and that would be to give better alternatives to the movies I don't like. With "Transformers 3" I would suggest you check out the first "Transformers" movie to see how good this franchise once was and in theatres now "Super 8" would be a better movie to see because you will actually have a fun time. What a concept!