'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides'

'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' (PG-13) (2 stars)

Writers: Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio
Director: Rob Marshall
Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane,
Keith Richards, Astrid Berges-Frisbey, Kevin McNally, Sam Caflin

I admire the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies but I don't embrace them. When the first one came out I was surprised how good it was since it was based on a Disney theme ride (Remember "The Country Bears" movie?). The first one was fun thanks to the rip roaring old fashioned adventure and especially for Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow. Sparrow has become an iconic character in movies and deservedly so. Johnny Depp was amazing, funny and larger than life but the Pirate movies to me don't match his greatness.

The first movie was light fun but didn't deserve the cultural icon status it got. The two sequels were overlong, self indulgent and the action scenes were a mess. I don't get why the filmmakers think an action adventure fantasy needs to be over two and a half hours long! There was false ending after false ending and I couldn't follow any of the action. The fourth installment of the franchise is a step up from the two sequels but this gets old fast. There is nothing Depp does here as Sparrow he hasn't done umpteen times in the other movies. There has to come a time when a franchise has to end and this one has to end. A fourth or fifth movie in a franchise can be done very well, look at "The Fast and Furious" franchise. They came back this year and made the best movie in the series.

I don't need to explain the plot for it is basically Sparrow chasing after the fountain of youth. This time he teams up with an old flame Angelica played by Penelope Cruz who adds beauty but no personality here. Also in the chase are old adversary Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and new adversary Blackbeard (Ian McShane). There are a lot of swordfights and not one is different from the other. The direction is cluttered, the tone is darker which I actually liked but fans might find too dark. The movie takes place at night in the dark 3/4 of the time and Depp has played out the Sparrow character, I didn't laugh once. The movie has some beautiful visual 3D effects but the story drags a lot of the time.

The only sequence I loved was when the mermaids show up. There is a breathtakingly shot scene where mermaids start to appear in the dark. The mermaids are beautiful and start to sing lulling the pirates to serenity. Then they turn out to be cannibal mermaids, the scene is too scary for kids but I loved it. That brings me to a very dull love story subplot where one of the young pirates falls in love with a captured mermaid played by the gorgeous Astrid Berges-Frisbee. The two though turn out to be boring and kill the story. Now a main reason I don't love the Pirate movies was because of the Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley characters. The two characters were dull and Sparrow should have had a bigger part instead of the supporting part. Think back to the other movies, you remember any of the other characters besides Sparrow and the villians? I didn't think so.

Now the filmmakers have replaced those weak characters with two new ones just as weak. I like this movie better than the last two because finally they make the Jack Sparrow character the main focus instead of window dressing. The only thing is the writers have not written a story that matches the greatness of Johnny Depp or the Sparrow character. The movie turns out to be serviceable but totally forgettable. The movie is way too long again and the action and adventure is uninspired. I also believe fans will find this the weakest, they will wonder where all the daylight and fun went.