'Drive Angry 3D'

'Drive Angry 3D' (R) (1 star)

Writers: Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier
Director: Patrick Lussier
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, Billy Burke, William Fichtner, David Morse

If you are going to make a "Grindhouse" homage like "Drive Angry" tries to do you have got to make it fun. This homage has already been done by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez and it should be put to rest. Also you finally have a movie really shot in 3D and except for a few weapons coming at your head, the 3D effects are lackluster and there are very few of them. I mentioned in my Best and Worst of 2010 article how the 3D gimmick died in the early 80's. Well this reminded me of those terrible and cheesy movies. There is no imagination involved, the movie is boring, the acting bad and the effects are crappy.

I wish someone would tell Cage to lighten up and stop sleepwalking through his movie roles. He is so dead here and the only life injected from this movie comes from William Fichtner as "The Accountant" with his somewhat amusing one liners. The movie deals with Cage, sent from hell to find and kill the cult leader who killed his daughter and kidnapped his grand daughter. I love movies about cults and the cult depicted in this movie is laughable and no threat. I couldn't believe the scene where the cult members dance like they were stuck in a 70's Charles Manson movie.

I felt like I was trapped in a "Billy Jack" movie but actually those bad movies from the 70's at least were fun in a bad way. "Drive Angry" is not even fun and there was not one moment I enjoyed. This is just a bad movie without the goofy energy that most of the cult, grindhouse movies had. Amber Heard looks good as Cage's sexy accomplice and I always love seeing David Morse in a movie. The main problem with this movie is that if it is trying to be an over the top gore fest it is not really that gory. If it is trying to be an action movie with cool 3D effects it fails because the car chases are uninteresting and dull. Also if you are paying that extra 3D surcharge then the movie should have more than the maybe three cool 3D shots the movie has. I fidgeted a lot, was totally bored and I couldn't understand why the movie didn't go more wild and crazy. I think it is time for Nicolas Cage to quit on these action/fantasy movies and go back to what he does best, seriously act even if he has to go nuts once in a while.

P.S. A few weeks back I watched a bad but fast and amusing 70's car crash movie. It was "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" with Peter Fonda. There is also a great cult movie from the 70's called "White Line Fever" with Jan Michael Vincent. Those were movies that "Drive Angry" should have been like and that is how it is supposed to be done.