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Friday, February 4, 2011

'Sanctum'

'Sanctum' (R) (1 1/2 stars)

Writers: John Garvin and Andrew Wight
Director: Alister Grierson
Starring: Richard Roxburgh, Ioan Gruffudd, Rhys Wakefield, Alice Parkinson

Will someone please stop this disease called 3D! I am thinking of starting a protest that no movie should be shot in 3D that is not named "Avatar". Not only is every movie transferred from 2D to 3D bad but even the movies shot in 3D are lame. You can add all the special effect, 3D shots you want but a turkey is a turkey and a lackluster story will kill your movie. There is one cool shot that is enhanced by 3D and only one and it comes in the last ten minutes of the movie. You would think an underwater movie in caves would be cool in 3D but here the film is blurred and looks terrible. 3D is ruining cinematography in a lot of these movies except for the breathtaking "Avatar". This is not the worst problem that "Sanctum" has, the dialogue here is terrible and laughable. Though I am glad that third graders are getting work as writers for movies these days. You also have some of the worst acting by an ensemble cast I have seen, do they give Razzie awards for that? The plot here doesn't matter, it is the old my Dad is a wanker but once our lives are in danger Dad will be a hero to me stories. Everyone here is pretty much a wanker but at least there is a hot woman to look at. Though once she dies I wanted to take a nap and go do anything else. Yes I can call these characters wankers because the movie is I am guessing Australian.

The really sad fact is that with James Cameron's name attached I was expecting an awesome 3D movie. Though I think Cameron must of given his assistant the script and had him green light it. I found the 3D effects and photography to be very cheesy and amateurish. This is a flat looking movie and there are so many cheesy cliches in the story that after a while I lost count. This is also a dull movie that creates no suspense, no true action and no one to root for because like I said they are all wankers. The father is seen at first to be a maniacal jerk but to me the son is the real jerk. When you start getting upset that others die when the bratty son keeps living you know you are in trouble. Let me stress again, unless your movie is like "Avatar" and "Tron: Legacy" and you take care in developing the 3D, don't shoot your movie in 3D. The real lesson is that only animated movies look great in 3D. "Sanctum" is a painful movie to sit through especially when those damn glasses add to your discomfort. If you are going to suffer through a turkey like this, those clunky glasses have to be more comfortable.

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