'Piranha 3D'

'Piranha 3D' (R) (2 stars)

Writers: Peter Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg
Director: Alexandre Aja
Starring: Elizabeth Shue, Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Christopher Lloyd, Steven R. McQueen, Jessica Szohr, Dina Meyer, Jerry O'Connell

"Piranha 3D" should have been much better and a true blast. Instead I felt a little queasy, dirty and kind of bored. I didn't feel queasy because of the gore because I can handle that. The movie just feels like a horror, porn movie when a little more innocent 80's like fun should have been in store. The 1978 "Piranha" movie by Joe Dante was much better, funnier and charming if you could call a horror movie that. "Piranha 3D" is also very sluggish and dull for 45 minutes and then the naked boobs and gore take over. This should make it's intended audience very happy but after 15 minutes of that it becomes boring and annoying. The movie starts out with a neat joke that falls flat as Richard Dreyfuss plays his old "Jaws" character. The payoff in this scene is a major letdown. I did like Elizabeth Shue and Christopher Lloyd and I loved an ending suspense rescue scene in a boat that was well directed. I just thought I would have more fun with this but I didn't laugh once and I was never scared, just bored and feeling unclean. This is a nasty movie that is not even enjoyable in a bad way. I also can't stand Jerry O'Connell who is terrible here, overacts and annoys the crap out of me. It is not just this movie but every movie I see him in. So when he gets eaten up by the Piranhas he can't even make us enjoy it for he can't even act that scene out right. This movie should have been so much fun and maybe someone else should have directed it. The director has made serious horror knock offs like a remake of "The Hills Have Eyes" and he slows this movie down to a halt.